Lessons from a Wild Thing

I haven’t been able to identify these little flowers on the internet. They’re not a hybrid gladiola, I don’t think. Probably an uncultivated species.

These little beauties have several admirable qualities, and while trimming the spent blossoms I made some applications to life. 

Although the blossoms are small, they are prolific. One stalk had twelve blooms on it.

First lesson: Even though my contribution in the world may seem small, if I persist, I can make a notable impact. 

They are adaptable to all soil types, and in either sun or shade. 

Second: The more flexible I am, the more opportunities I'll find. 

Plentiful stalks create an eye-catching mass of color. 

Third: My concentrated efforts are more effective than spreading my energy over too many projects. 

Look closely into the salmon colored flower and see the lavender streaks (the anther), like a spray of sparks shooting from fireworks.  It’s an example of a triadic color scheme, three colors (including the green foliage) spaced evenly around the color wheel.  It’s balanced, harmonious, and I think, a little surprising.

Fourth: There's more zest in my life if I stay balanced.

As crazy as I am about these flowers, they do have a drawback--they take over unless regularly ripped up from unwanted spaces. “But they’re so pretty...” my husband says.  When they march right over other plants to the edge of the bed they’ve become a nuisance. (So yank ‘em out, and give 'em to somebody else.) 

Fifth: I need to keep my enthusiasm within reasonable boundaries. For example,  no matter the quality or the motive, unsolicited advice is a weed. 

What aspect of your life encourages you to reflect? Your exercising? reading? faith? What lesson would you share with us? 

The Soccer Pink Card

My grandchildren are now playing soccer in beginner leagues.

The YMCA runs their program, and each game starts with an *oath to play fairly and respect all participants.

It’s a nice change from coaches who yell at six and seven year olds: “Are you guys dancing down here? This is soccer! We’re not dancing! Pay attention!” 

 Those coaches deserve yellow cards--caution for aggressive attitudes.  

getting ready for the oath

However, it’s not a problem for my granddaughter’s team. She’s part of the Pink Flamingos for 3 and 4 year olds. Their play wasn’t riveting, but their take on the game was a hoot. 

Two little girls wore the typical shorts, shin guards and knee socks, plus tutus. 

The youngest team member (left) was shuffled around the field by one of her parents. They took turns gently steering her in the direction of play, and telling her when to run or kick.

my go-getter on the far right

Most of the flamingos ran up and 
down the shortened field in a pack. Some understood they were to try to kick the ball into the goal. The only poor sportsmanship was when a couple of girls got frustrated and shouldered their teammates out of the way to get to the ball. Of course no referee gave yellow cards, and they never got rough enough to warrant a red card.

Occasionally they ignored the game altogether while one gave another a hug,   which should warrant an as-yet-unadopted good sportsmanship pink card. Better hugging than slugging! 

Go Flamingos!

*YMCA SPORTS PLEDGE: Win or lose, I promise to God to do the best I can, to be a team player and to respect my teammates, my opponents and officials, and to improve myself in spirit, mind, and body. 

First World Problems: A Bridge, A Straw, A Cup

Life throws us big curves sometimes, and we need to save hand-wringing and laments for those.

The rest --they're First World Problems, which is to say, not really problems at all.

For example, on our flight home last week we were delayed an hour. We still made our connection in Chicago, but we didn't have time for a sit down meal. We grumbled, then Bill remembered this video* from a recent sermon.  Shucks, grabbing a ready-made bagel as we dashed through the concourses wasn't hardship. It would have been a feast for a lot of folks.



Likewise, lightening fried the wi-fi router and it took two days to restore service. Look at all the time I saved NOT checking email!

I appreciate the satire of the video. It makes the point with humor, which is easier on the soul than guilt, and more effective in changing my attitudes.

I hope this will make you chuckle, and give you pause to reconsider whether your current life-glich is an FWP. In which case I offer you a bridge, a straw, and a cup. 

*(Disclaimer, the church didn't show the entire video.)

Charity Begin at Home

“I think it's odd that grown-ups quarrel so easily and so often and about such petty matters. Up to now I always thought bickering was just something children did and that they outgrew it.” 

― Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl

feeling charitable

Saturday my husband and I will fly to Colorado to visit our married children. So we are practicing our Denver manners, that is "charity".

Charity is an attitude of benevolence toward another person. It fosters the the small niceties we should be observing all of the time, but don't. Over forty years of marriage we have institutionalized bickering, minus the heat. 

He leaves open the cupboard doors. I chafe at his negligence and peevishly ask him to please close it. 

I disagree with a political analyst on the news and he launches his opinion into my air space before I've finished. 

We disagree with each other about inconsequential things, ad nauseum.

I realized how nauseating our behavior is when a close family member commented on it.  Caught in our rude ways, now we try harder to:

1. Let it drop. Every comment does not need a rebuttal.
2. Listen longer, interject later.
3. Ask more questions.
4. Show regard for each other.

It is a sad fact that we have allowed discourtesy to become a habit, fed by uncharitable attitudes. But I have a plan to counteract it.

First I've had to repeatedly admit that my self-seeking is displeasing to God, my husband and others who observe it. I further ask the Holy Spirit to enable me to change, to develop charity. Then I strive to follow St. Paul's instructions to only say what is helpful, what benefits others. 

When we catch ourselves sliding back into petty fussing, we murmur "Denver manners!" 

I hope we live long enough to see charity push bickering out of our lives. 

13 Reasons to start a Journal in 2013

1. The time you take to reflect and write may be the only solitude you get. Psychology Today says solitude improves relationships and fosters problem solving. Who doesn’t need that! 

a beautiful journal from paperblanks

2. Defeat thought-scatter. When one thought leads to another so fast I can’t keep up, I need to slow the synapses! Writing helps. The must-do list loses the frenzy factor when I move it from my head to my journal.

3. Ideas are clarified, insights gel while you write. 

4. Record major life events.  My journal helped keep me sane and organized during my daughter’s hospitalization. It preserved our questions about her condition and the physicians’ answers. It chronicled the process of her recovery. It documented the interminable communication with the insurance companies. 

5. Record the minor pleasures. Then you can go back and relive the things that made you laugh, gave you a thrill, and caused you to be grateful. 

6. Record the events you never want to repeat. Reflection reveals other choices you could have made.

7. Boost your creativity, even if you don’t think you have any.  I like to illustrate my thoughts. I keep a separate section at the back of my journal for projects to pursue later.

8. Track progress--and obstacles--toward your goals. 

9. Paper doesn't talk back. You can express your feelings without saying something you’ll regret or get fired for! 

 10. A full journal is satisfying. When life seems to be a series of recurring tasks, completed pages in a journal are evidence you were in the driver’s seat for at least some moments. 

11. When I review my journal for the year I see patterns of behavior, recurrent 

themes, insights. It helps me set new goals.

12. It's memory back-up. Once it's written down you can find it again.

13. It puts in you in good company. People from all walks of life, ancient and modern, have kept diaries. I bet you can find someone you admire on this list!

How many of you kept diaries as a child? How many keep journals now? What kinds of details do you record? Why does it give you pleasure? Share something from your journal in the comments box. 

Santa’s Not Welcome

Santa’s no longer welcome at my house. I thought I’d be enchanted with him forever.  But before I hit thirty I knew he’d been stringing me along. And I realized he couldn’t offer anything I truly wanted. I’d been completely deceived by the glitz and candle light, which, while pretty, still left me in the dark.

Santa couldn’t deliver the Hallmark-card family I yearned for. No slippers or even diamond earrings were going to make up for my disillusionment.   No amount of shopping, gift giving or cookie baking could balance out the guilt I felt about how I fussed at my small children or criticized my husband.  I needed a new me, and Santa couldn’t produce it.

Then Jesus came calling. When I understood that He wanted to trade me divine forgiveness for my shame, I placed my faith in the cradle-to-cross Savior.

  I learned that Christmas is all about the second chance, the clean slate, the renewed spirit that Jesus offers. He was the miracle and Santa a sham.  I plugged the chimney, metaphorically speaking, and put up the manger on the mantle.

So you won’t find Santa here. We celebrate Jesus born and Jesus resurrected. 

Forget the little hooves on the roof top. I’d rather have the angelic hosts singing to high heaven and its King. I love the Light of the World more than the colored strings on my Christmas tree. The trappings of the season (interesting word, “trappings”) can’t compare with the truth behind the celebration.

I pray that your festivities would be focused on God-Come-Down. Merry Christmas.

Are you a cupcake, muffin or biscuit?

Are you a cupcake, muffin, or biscuit?

Before I'd heard of personality inventories I contrived my own system to peg the women around me. Of course it's unscientific but I found a certain homey truth to it.  It's no more far-fetched than answering questions in a teacher in-service to determine if my mental operating system was like an oval, triangle, circle or square. 

I typecast a "cupcake" based on her big smile even though standing next to a car with a flat tire and a screaming baby in the backseat.  Could I call her "Honey" or "Sugar" without offending her?  I imagined her inner resolve to be light and easily squashed.

That was a long time ago, and maybe it had to do with our youth and the misguided mission to conceal inner junk.  I can't think of a woman I know today who I'd call a cupcake.

The muffins are unadorned, hearty and appealing. They  take more risks than the cupcakes. They are discerning and speak their minds without being unkind. My friend Florence is a muffin. She suggested that despite my zeal, teaching vacation Bible school wasn't my strength.

Most of my friends now are muffins: dependable and accepting. They don't worry about looking as good as cupcakes because they have developed substantial inner beauty. 

I label myself a biscuit--crusty on the outside, but softer on the inside.  Biscuits will stick to your ribs, they’re basic, no surprises.  Not so good alone, better with strawberry jam added. We do tend to be frank, sometimes, unpalatably so. But you know a biscuit won’t sugar coat the truth to keep from hurting feelings. 

My daughters and I tried to explain our system to my son-in-law. Then we asked him what his old girlfriend was. He thought about it and answered “unbaked cookie dough.”  Gooey.  He made a wise choice with daughter number one, a tasty muffin.  

I never bake cupcakes, can’t make a decent biscuit. Here are two of my favorite muffin recipes, which I admit are more like cupcakes than biscuits. Maybe I'm getting  sweeter with age. 

http://www.tasteofhome.com/Recipes/Low-Fat-Chocolate-Muffins

http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/peach-streusel-muffins-10000000461494/