Stay at home orders are taking their toll on us. I haven't seen anything out of the ordinary in weeks, except for light traffic. My library books are two and half months overdue. Bill's running commentary during the news is just as tedious when he's misunderstanding COVID science as it was when the topic was the presidential race. He misses the days I would go off somewhere and leave him in peace.
With the outside world so far removed, every little detail of life is something to pick at, exaggerated and out of proportion.
Mid February we were good for toilet paper. We laughed at the TP hoarders.
About four weeks in we couldn’t find any in our usual stores, and the stockpile was running low. I stopped at Whole Foods. The paper goods shelves were nearly empty, but high on the top shelf were two packages of their organic, undyed, tan toilet paper. I only took one twelve-pack, conscientious citizen that I am.
Recently I put a roll in my bathroom, and Bill’s. It’ll do, I thought.
But my grocery shopping hubby came home today with a prize of eight rolls of Charmin which he announced he would NOT share with me.
It seems he’s turned into Prince Charming with a tender tush and has to have the best.
Usually he’s not a keen observer of his surroundings. For example he carried in the apartment building’s yellow broom when the one we’ve had for three years is red. But he noticed and objected to my changing his sanitary product. He did not think the environmentally friendly TP was friendly to him. He said it was too thin, scratchy, and the beige color looked weird floating in the toilet.
I should have known.
This is not the first time he’s taken a firm stand on toilet paper. Our daughter prefers ultra-thin, single-ply, unembossed, good-for-septic-tank brands. It is so stiff and coarse, we take our own rolls to their house for our baby-sitting days.
And past international travel has caused Bill no small amount of concern before-hand and distress once at our destination. On our last trip, back when TP was not an issue in developed countries, I thought he was going to fill every crevice of his suitcase with handmade mini-rolls. We didn’t know if Croatia leaned more to hearty, soft TP or harsh, thin Central American standards. As I recall it turned out okay.
Last trip to Target I noticed the paper aisle seemed well-stocked, but didn't do a brand name check. Our condo isn’t big enough to store more TP when I have eleven rolls of the WF brand. As the sole user of said brand, I admit it is thin and strange looking. And it’ll probably last up to the second wave of COVID and the next paper-product roundup.
